Maui Revealed - Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa

780 rooms, 9 pools, 4 spas, 6 restaurants, 24-hour room service, fitness center and day spa, valet parking, 13 shops, 22 conference rooms, business center, Nintendo, hi-speed Internet access in rooms, Wi-Fi in parts of the resort, coffee maker with free coffee daily, wedding coordinator, laundry is valet only. Words that describe this place are: wow, huge, awesome, overwhelming, crowded, fun. Grand Wailea is indeed the largest resort on Maui. They took every dream and whim that the designers could come up with and sprinkled in a half billion dollars or so (give or take a hundred million--I mean, who's counting when it gets that high?). The result is an outrageous, exotic tropical playground.

When you drive up, you are greeted by a waterfall that would look natural along the road to Hana. (In fact, one of the tour companies shows this waterfall in their jungle tour of Hana brochure--shame on them.) Once you've checked in, you just gotta check out the pools. Imagine nine interconnected pools with a current running between many of them. Waterslides, Tarzan rope swings, rapids to shoot, a sandy baby beach portion, and an in-the-pool bar. This pool is wildly popular, and you'll be forgiven if you sometimes wonder if everyone staying at the resort has decided to hang out at the pool for the day. (Quiet, it ain't.) The chairs are very tightly packed around all the pools.

Speaking of chairs, you have to rent the cabana chairs at the pool and it costs (no, this is not a typo) $250 per day! That's the highest price anyplace in Hawai'i. You have to reserve it one year in advance. But hey, they sure do pamper you. They'll serve you water, some fruit and Popsicles. We think at that price they should at least include a personal masseuse.

The 40 acres of grounds do hide lots of nooks and crannies where one can find some privacy. Some $30 million worth of art--some beautiful, some bizarre--adorns the grounds and lobby.

Countless shops are here, mostly upscale. They have numerous restaurants. Wedding services here are extensive. They host about 350 weddings a year, and their chapel is utterly gorgeous, though we heard it may be moved or taken down.

Their children's program is the most extensive we've ever seen at a resort. It's 20,000 sq. ft., including classrooms, a PlayStation room, movie theater and whale-shaped pool. But it's ultra-pricey at $125 per day--the most expensive program on the island.

Grand Wailea is blessed with being located on one of the finest beaches on Maui, Wailea Beach. Endless frolicking fun is yours to be had here. They have windsurfing lessons, snorkeling and boogie boarding accouterments for rent, and scuba lessons. The latter take place in their dedicated scuba pool, which is 10 feet deep and lined with sea critter tiles.They also have racquetball, volleyball and basketball.

The day spa, like everything else here, is huge and busy. Every bone-melting activity that the human race has created seems available here.

They have one of those annoying mandatory resort fees of $25 to cover local calls, fitness center, Internet access, room safes, daily coffee, area shuttle service, lots of activities, etc. It's also $20 for valet parking. (Self-parking is free but far away unless you're in a room on the south end of the resort.) They'll bring you an empty fridge for your stay for $25.

They have what we call a "close family fee." If you want to use that door connecting adjacent rooms, it's $25 per day per room. (Ridiculous but true.)

We've been to this resort a number of times over the years and we've liked it a bit less each time. We thought long and hard but felt we had to remove our Real Gem rating for this edition. On this visit, we found you waited in line for everything (even a pool towel), and it felt more like a visitor-processing machine than a warm welcoming resort. The grounds used to be well-kept, but this time we saw lots of cracked walkways and an overall less-tended look. The standard rooms were in need of renovations, which were planned at press time.

Grand Wailea can feel like Disneyland on the beach. It's one of those places where you can hang out at the resort and stay entertained for days. (Which, of course, we hope you won't do.) What's the catch? Wadayatink? Resorts like this don't come cheap. Rooms (640-715 sq. ft.) are $625–$1,180. Suites (1,300-5,500 sq. ft.) start at $1,900 and go up to the Grand Suite, which should actually be called the Fifteen Grand Suite because that's what it will set you back each night--$17,710. (For that price, I wonder if they allow you to steal all the towels you can carry.) Packages alleviate some of the rate pain.